Long before your child says their first word, they're learning to connect — smiling back at you, sharing a giggle, pointing at a dog to make sure you see it too. These social-emotional skills are the foundation for friendships, learning, and communication. This guide walks through social milestones by age, the signs worth watching, and how to nurture your child's connections.
The short answer: Social-emotional development includes smiling, sharing attention, playing with others, and managing emotions. Talk to your pediatrician if your baby isn't smiling socially by 3 months, doesn't share attention (pointing, showing) by 18 months, or loses social skills they once had — these can be early signs that a free Early Intervention evaluation would help.
What are social-emotional skills?
Social-emotional skills are how your child relates to others and understands feelings — theirs and other people's. They include making eye contact, responding to emotions, taking turns, playing alongside and then with other children, and beginning to manage big feelings. These skills are closely tied to language and are part of how specialists screen for autism.
Social milestones by age
| Age | What most children do |
|---|---|
| 2 months | Smiles at people; calms when picked up or talked to |
| 6 months | Knows familiar faces; enjoys looking at themselves in a mirror; laughs |
| 9 months | Reacts to strangers; plays peekaboo; has favorite people |
| 12 months | Hands you a book to read; plays games like pat-a-cake; shows preferences |
| 18 months | Points to show you things; gives hugs; may have tantrums |
| 2 years | Copies others; plays alongside other children; shows defiance |
| 3 years | Shows affection for friends; takes turns; shows a wide range of emotions |
See the full checklist for your child's age, including 9 months, 18 months, and 2 years.
Signs worth watching
By 6 months
- Doesn't smile socially or seem to enjoy being around people
- Doesn't make eye contact or share expressions
By 12–18 months
- Doesn't point to show you things or follow your point
- Limited interest in interactive games like peekaboo
- Doesn't seek comfort or share enjoyment with you
By 2–3 years
- Little interest in other children
- Doesn't engage in pretend play
- Extreme difficulty with transitions or managing emotions compared to peers
At any age: losing social skills they once had is a reason to contact your pediatrician promptly.
Remember: temperament is not a delay
Some children are naturally shy, cautious, or slow to warm up — and that's a normal, healthy part of who they are. A shy child who connects warmly with familiar people is developing social skills just fine. Concern is warranted when a child shows little interest in connecting with anyone, or when several signs appear together.
How to nurture social-emotional skills at home
- Be responsive. Answering your baby's coos and cries with warmth builds the back-and-forth of connection.
- Play face-to-face games like peekaboo, pat-a-cake, and copying expressions.
- Name feelings. "You're frustrated that the tower fell" helps children understand emotions.
- Offer playdates and group time so toddlers can practice being around peers.
- Read books about feelings and talk about how characters might feel.
- Model turn-taking in simple games and conversations.
How to get help
If you're concerned about your child's social-emotional development, free Early Intervention (birth to age 3) can evaluate and support these skills — no referral or diagnosis needed. Support might include developmental therapy and coaching for you on strategies that fit your child.
Frequently asked questions
My toddler plays next to other kids but not with them — is that normal?
Yes. "Parallel play" (playing alongside others) is completely normal for toddlers. Cooperative play develops closer to ages 3–4.
Are tantrums a social-emotional problem?
Tantrums are a normal part of learning to manage big feelings. See our guide on understanding toddler tantrums for what's typical and when to seek help.
Could a social delay mean autism?
Social differences can be an early sign of autism, but they have many possible causes. An evaluation is the way to get clarity. See early signs of autism.
The bottom line
Connection is at the heart of your child's development. By responding warmly, playing together, and naming feelings, you're building these skills every day. If something feels off — especially a loss of skills or little interest in connecting — an evaluation is free and can bring peace of mind.
Check your child's milestones · Start your free action plan
Sources: U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), "Learn the Signs. Act Early."; American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP); Zero to Three. This article is for educational purposes and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. If you have concerns about your child's development, talk to your pediatrician.